>>Act like a friend. Get to know you, and make a real connection, then
evaporate when they find out you are monogamous and attached. I see no
reason why we can't be friends. Hrrumph.
I can sense your sadness. I think with the guys it's a combination of
wanting to get on with finding what you want and not wasting any time, a
feeling that "just being friends" is a second class relationship (why
ain't I as good as those other guys you want to be more than friends
with?), and not being able to hang around something you want and can't
have.
>>Outside of that it's just the usual disrespect issues; Being sneered
at in drummers circles,
Do they really outright sneer at you?
I treasure the times I'm able to get in a circle where the women
predominate - I'll walk away from any zuzus to go join one. They listen
to each other, and play TOGETHER. I remember one electric session with
three sisters by Everybody's Kitchen on June 28(?) at New Mexico. They
got into the o d o d o | o o o rhythm (o = quarter note, d = eighth
note), and kept it up solid for almost an hour, while I did the
heartbeat on my 5 gallon drum. Then some dude joined with his djembe,
and you could feel everybody drowning in the testosterone.
>being talked over or generally ignored, being humored...
The first two I can relate to some experiences of my own, but what
exactly is being humored? Examples?
>>That doesn't mean you have to be so boogua (I have no idea how to
spell it. Try middle class) about it.
That's "bourgeois", a French word from "bourg", cognate with German
"Burg" - the town, where the new merchant class lived, as opposed to the
country where the peasants lived, and the castle and church where the
nobility and clergy lived.
>>After some bad incidents, I learned to keep things public unless I
really wanted to get involved.
I wish that weren't necessary, but knowing some guys, it is.
>>Hint for guys; if you want to meet women, go where they are. Take a
class in knitting, photo album assembly, English Lit, etc.
Roger, are you telling me that REAL men don't knit and wash dishes?
(I absolutely can't believe you don't meet women being a nurse!)
- Butterfly Bill
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