>
>
> > At 08:13 AM 9/28/97 -0400, Vince Henri wrote:
> > << all snipped but this one sentence>>
> >
> > > Making up new RULES for the correct behavior between males
> > >and females is only alienating us even further.
> <snip>
>
> > So who's right and who's wrong? ........ Seems to me ALL are!
> >
> > So what's the point? ....... As I said, I understand there is difference
> > between the sex's and that there is need to try and see/understand some
> of
> > these differences, but why SO MUCH focus on it?
>
> Yes, there's a lot of focus on this issue, but I think it helps a lot of us
> understand what is going on. The channels of communication are opening up
> and we're learning different perspectives. I'm not a man in this lifetime,
> and can't remember past ones (not consciously), so find it very helpful to
> gain an understanding of the male trip by reading these posts.
>
> I totally agree that we're all HUMANS - much more similar than different.
> But, like it or not, we were raised in gender based modes that put all
> kinds of restrictions and 'shoulds' on us. Some of these things lead to
> alienation between the sexes. She doesn't understand why he watches
> football all weekend. He doesn't understand why she's upset when he comes
> home drunk every night.
>
> A lot of what's happening in this newgroup with this gender thing seems to
> be an effort to understand different perspectives. For those of us who are
> single, it's also a way to learn about things we can't talk over with our
> significant other. We're lucky enough to have a family forum to do it in.
>
>
> <snip>
> > I know some people are getting some personal insight from all these
> > discussions, but much of it seems to be the same old BS with no
> conclusion
> > and just adding to our alienation of each other.
> <snip>
>
> No disrespect, but I do not agree with this. If you look back, you will
> notice how some of these threads have evolved - starting with a lot of
> anger and pain and leading to some very good and intelligent discussions.
> Oh yes, and some ribald humor thrown in (Hi Roger ;-) ).
>
> <snip>
> > Please don't misunderstand my message. I'm not so much trying to put down
> > (or discourage) all this talk about men & women as much as I'm trying to
> say
> > "let's talk more about what's right and wrong about how we treat each
> other
> > (and ourselves) as fellow human beings". I believe MANY of the questions
> > wondered about how men & women treat each other would be answered by such
> > discussions.
> >
> > I admit to some degree of being a little uptight in seeing/hearing so
> much
> > focus being on "men & women". I'm not sure why I feel this way because I
> do
> > feel there is difference and that it needs exploring. But all I seem to
> > hear people talk about when trying to become more understanding, usually
> > ends up becoming a "gender" issue (or a "us vs. Them").
> >
> > This is not only with rainbow but in our society in general. When such
> > discussions get "too" out of balance, they become just another thing to
> keep
> > us all separated into opposing groups with little chance of us ever
> getting
> > to the issue of treating each other with true respect.
>
> <snip>
>
> Agreed. We do need to get to a common path of mutual respect irregardless
> of gender. I think that's what's happening with these posts. Some
> brothers expressed pain and anger because they didn't understand why they
> were hurting. I don't think this pain would have just gone away by saying
> we should all respect each other - they needed to hear some ideas that were
> different than the ones going on in their heads.They needed to see
> different perspectives to heal some of that pain and get to a point of
> understanding. I do agree that it would be wonderful if we could all just
> respect each other even if we don't always understand where the other
> person is coming from, but its a lot easier if we have some inkling of what
> makes the other person do what they do.
>
> Your post is a good one in pointing toward the future. Methinks we just
> need to get some of the garbage out of the way first. Peace and Love.
>
> Legeia
>
>
>
For myself, it helped me to get some things out of me. I dont know if I
could've feel enough respected to do it anywhere else. Many did not
understand at first, or just reacted, but many other took either the time to
search for that understanding, or to show that they cared anyway. i
think communication kept going with all that talked about it. It
felt great, I'v grown, and partly because I took the risk of diving
in with those feelings that where not easy, and so forth not easy to
express. It also was great because i felt and know there was
freindship there. We did not always agreed, or treated each other
with the best respect or kindness, but we carried on.
Its a hug in its way !
To express and to admit the gender diference, to go for it, for the
best of it, that's me (or pat of).
(Do I repeat myself now ?)
I love you all...
Keep that thread going even without me...
Thanks, immense love !
kriss