I can only speak for myself,but many rainbows i've talked to feel the
same way.
I grew up in whitebread middleclass suburbian America. I always felt
like i didn't belong. As i grew older, I began to see that compared to
the rest of the country, indeed the world, i had it good. Very very
good.
And it felt ALIEN to me.
All the authority figures in my life; parents, teachers, TV, national
leaders, etc. talked about how lucky I had it and how I
should dive right into the system and take advantage of this huge
material headstart that i had on the rest of the human race. I came from
a long line of conquerors and couldn't let their sacrifices down.
And it felt utterly empty, repugnent, and ugly to me from the very
beginning.
I started getting high on pot while a young teen. There was something
there that spoke to the emptiness inside me. I started reading about
other cultures and history- what i could find that wasn't rewritten by
the conquerors -
The oriental path had some truths that spoke to me but it was too
different a culture to embrace fully.
I started getting away from the highly developed suburbian culture and
landscape and spending time in less developed landscapes up to and
including wilderness. There was definately something in nature that
spoke to me. Something huge but i needed a framework to view it thru.
At the same time, i was in the middle of the antiwar movement here in
the states and the federal government that i had always thought of as
"officer Friendly" was the enemy. Cops were dragging my longhaired
friends away to their cells and kicking them out 3 days later missing
their pot, money, teeth, and hair. I had been reading the underground
press and Bury my heart...
I took some acid in the woods 5 days after Kent state and I suddenly saw
all the parallels between the native americans and the hippies.
I went to the gathering in 72 in Colorado and it really hit home.
I started reading everything I could about the TRUTH of the native
american struggle. I saw how we were following in their footsteps.
The eagle rose in my chest and screamed for the blood of his people.
By the time I heard of the prophecies, it was "Of course, how can anyone
doubt it"
My blood might be from europe, but my spirit belongs to the forests,
plains and mountains of turtle island. and i will die for my land and my
people.
HO!
marc