Hi, Crystal,
It's Thu. evening, and your Yin and Yang post has still not yet appeared
on netscape news. I think it went to the bit pit somewhere. Could you
repost it, or send it to my own email?
Thanx,
- Butterfly Bill
OK Here it is:
As others here have pointed out, men and women are not so
different. We are all human. Our differences overlap like a
matched pair of bell curves. Hey, even I can write my name in
the snow. Maybe not so well, and the short version, but I
proved it. Oh no! I'm a feminazi!
Only our preoccupation with ourselves makes the differences seem
so important. When we approach each other as individuals, in
every way, a lot of the feminine vs masculine just drops
away. I have been surprised to remember the genders of my
fiends. I know what they think and how they feel is affected
by their gender, but other factors can have as much or more to
do with what makes them special. I have other friends who exude their
gender in ways that make it hard to overlook. It seems to depend on how
seriously they take
their own gender and orientation.
I've also noticed that things change a lot when people form groups. As
long as the mixture is even, interactions seem pretty normal to me. Get a
preponderance of one gender of the other and there is a clear difference.
I noticed this in karate class one day. There were about 20 men, and me.
The joking and way the jokes were taken became cruder and more competitive.
There was a lot more posing. Groups with few men tend to have more of a
lilting "and then she said," quality, and more giggling.
So what does this have to do with Rainbow? Everything. Most of
the time I have found the National to be a very Yang thing.
Especially on the fourth. It got so strong in Vermont that I
found myself retreating to Goddess Grove, then to Sister Circle
just to get a little balance.
OK, I'll tell the truth. Sister Circle loured me in one time with a drum
jam. That was when I realized how different the energies were. Then I
started beating a retreat there when things got too much at Main Circle and
didn't improve at my local kitchen.
I'm not happy spending all my time in sister circle. I begin to feel
repressed there. They just don't like to get as noisy or active as I do.
Still, knowing it's there, that I can retreat to it when I need to, and
that there won't be men there, is invaluable to me. For that reason I
avoid Brothers Circle. Men should also have a place of retreat.
BTW, those brothers who feel they just have to impose themselves on sister
circle just make it that much longer until I am willing to come out. After
all, it's that in-your-face quality that drives me in there to begin with.
So why don't we try to rebalance main circle? Might as well change the
orbit of the moon, while we're at it. There are things that can be done to
mellow things out more. But I don't want them more mellow! I like the
explosion at the end of the silence. The more radical the better. Most of
the time I don't need a breather. Most of the time a rain storm will give
one to me.
There are things we need to be concerned with. For instance, the brothers
who like to literally drag sisters to the ground are a serious problem for
the overall feel of a gathering. Even if they don't do physical harm, who
wants to be treated that way? I love hugs, but have become really leery of
those "hug patrols" Got frisked or felt up too may times I guess. And I
wish the noisy boys at the drum jams would stop and listen some times.
I've noticed there seems to be a difference in the way we treat gender
based on age. There is a generation gap that can be as small as 10 years.
American culture has gone through some pretty big gyrations lately. Things
that women fought long and hard for 30 years ago are taken for granted by a
woman in her early 20's. Things that were issues in the 60's seemed like
dead horses to me when I hit that age. Now a whole new set of issues have
come up. Really, that holding the door open business only seems to be a
problem with other people and people in Utah. :-)
Part of this I think has to do with the phases of life we all go to. Some
of it is just my perspective. A lot of it really is just that the times
they are a changing.
One of the issues that was big in my time (80's) is how to relate to
friends and lovers. I generally have a number of male friends. I find it
easier to pall around with them. It USED to be impassable to find women
friends with brains. Way too many of them waisted their time on hair and
nails, or where to score a stash. Most of the time the gender of my
friends hasn't been an issue. Now and then I would be side swiped by some
guy who fell in love with me. Now I'm married, I haven't had as much
trouble with it. My female friends tended to have the opposite problem;
how to get their male friends to fall for them.
I don't know how much of an issue that is now. I don't run with the heads
anymore. I run with the mommys. That's a whole different set of concerns.
Montana Crystal
Http://members.aol.com/BoomBdBoom/drum.html for musical instruments