> << Thank you KAHA !
> I didn't even went as far as saying not an animal thing in animal
> kingdom. I new a dog...
> I just meant what nature, naturrally calls you to do, I suppose. I
> even think testing it, or having it imposed on you from the same
> side, might bring you back to nature... But may be I am making it
> worse now...
> Na really...
> Love you all...
>
> Kriss >>
>
> Be gentle with this one, Kriss. I know some homosexuals who even underwent
> shock theropy (yes, real electricity) to change their orientation. It didn't
> straighten them out, just made them more neurotic. Homosexuals in this
> country go through a lot of pain because of their orientation.
>
> As to the idea of they would switch with the right partner, most of the
> homosexuals I know hear that all the time. They find it very annoying.
> Better just let this topic fade out.
>
> Loving you right back!
>
> Montana Crystal
Hello Montana Crystal,
Hello to all,
I love you all,
I love nature and nurture in you all,
Crystals are sharp, and clear....
Gentle, I intend to be more and more. And it is exponentional, the
more it flows the more there is... And obviously it's true, the more
love I get, the easyest it is to be gentle (and the less I want to
walk away from love...).
I'v been a little low now. One another side of that is that you should
shine your light somewhere, and that's a part of my job... Sometimes
it pulls you away...
Some other times you have dark spots in you, that pull you away from
light, and clarity or just from the flow of love...
It can come from you, or from others, but it's what you do about it,
and what you do with the energy you still have to go around with,
that matters.
Homosexuality, is for me a dificult one... Specially because I am in
a phase where I just endly admitted and realized and started to love my
masculinity.
I dont want to have it unconsidered. I dont want people to think it's
soemthing that is not purely dedicated to women. And if they do
still, by proclaiming otherwise, or by personal approach. I feel
offended.
I want to share my virilhood (I said it) with women and women only
(Or to say it equally
I'd love women to want to share their feminity with me)(and it's far
from being only sexual)
And I wish I had a term to say what it is that becomes
of that share of two diferent things... For me it is love and
gentleness and recognition of self and one another...
But then what... I just dont want to look back... (On the rape, on
the adverse seduccing, and on the crunching of virility, into
something not only I believe it is not want it's stands for, but I also
can easely feel it is not).
I had to guts to say: enough.
It happend here...
It's not judgemental... Later may be, I'll be more free, and I'll
look back, and I'll say "not so tough!", or I'll look at someone in
there, and I'll feel "what a play", and it's a passage I'll go
through as I return to a full confidence in my self.
But my heart knows better. No human experience is unworth respect, for
it is human. It's often the lack of respect that makes those
experience so hard to live, to see and to overcome... But the
consequences those you should measure, and before your beliefs or
your habbits, or your desires, before they drive you...
So I'll have respect, and besides being polite, and kind, and more or
less attentionate, depending, one of the ways I'll show that respect
is to tell what I whent through... It is to show what I'v slowly
realized and emphasized till it could become a choice...
But I want let it tore me no more, for nobodyelse's sake and nonetheless, for
what is to be called the right way to think about something...
And your right may be I should drop the thread.
I doubt it would be fair, to anyone... To me because I need to say,
I need to get it behind. To others because it's imposed on them. I am
amongst the ones that dont want to ear about it. And I want impose
it. But its said. I think of all those that are in their teens or just
coming out of it. All of them need to reckon their gender at that
age, they need to do it in peace and acceptance of themselfs, and in
what will gave the most logicall, and the greatest possibilities...
(I also believe in what will give them the greatest onsight of live
and its diversity, on what will be the greatest share of feelings,
because the one wiht the greatest span, cause of that diversity).
But to those that do that apology or defense of
homosexuality here, I do say that they are imposing it on us twice, by
trying to get us to think that it's "normal", and by turning us down if
they think we are not tolerant.
In french we say, you cant get both the butter and the money for the
butter. If you want to be diferent, accept to be treated diferently.
I dont respect you less, I just dont share your ways. And if you
think you can impose them, you are just one more of the opressors...
And after the moral, the medicine:
There is many things involved in sexual energy. If you could leave
the past behind... and make your one choices...
It's of course not that simple, but yet to realize that you are the
owner of your life (in some degree of interdependance, somewhat), is
necessary at any point of life to make your true autonomous
choices... So look at your past, reorganize the memories, dont take
anything for granted (memories are yours, do whatever you can with
them, and keep improuving). It's not a big commercial, your mind is
not a TV. Every thing that gets in there is either what you accept or
adapt, or what you suffer (and what you'll suffer again from till
that memory leaves you at peace). But for the joy, there is a need
for memory, though strangely it's less obvious because the joy is
lived right now !
Still, if beyond the joy, you seek for it's cause, and
adapt to it, you'll find it to be allways some sort of elevated feeling
of love, be it for life, for humanity as for Earth, for manyones or
someone, even for anyone... For things, and so forth...
But to get beyond the joy, or to turn arond it, or just to see a
little farther from it, be it to look for more (in quantity and
quality), it takes will...
Sex is a tremendous provider of joy, but as well of sorrow... Its in
its way a master of energy, and so forth it takes even more will to
change it's course...
And if I am willing (in my daily encounters, or as a general topic of
moral) to give every one a chance to do his best out of what he is,
I am just not willing to put it all in a big melting pot... And see
what happens. I view (my) choices as important... Took me long, because
i was subdued out of my head, to realize sexual orientation is one of
them.
If shrinks or surgeons are ready to impose greater pains, it's too
bad, but that's often what those people are about...
I still believe in searching for my true nature, what I am is as
important as what I want to be, but it's simple... A human male on
Earth, made of flesh, heart and spirit is what I am. (And as afact
being a couple, a tribe, and a humanity, is just about as important).
What I do with
it is what I want to be, and I get closer and closer to it.
It might be hard to hear butI say it plainly, I think there will always be pain
in homosexuality, because it's not in tune with nature, with the flow
of life...
I might be talking too much... Many may think I am turning down some
people. And may be I need to realise that they are turning themself's
down by that, and that I should just let them fall...
But I want to hold the flame of life high...
I want life to be respected as it is...
I want people to be sexualy happy and respected, as they are...
As nature gives them to be (for the greatest number).
I am tired of being twisted...
O being abused myself, of seing children abused, and of having to
stand it as amoral, or to be blamed for saying NO to it...
I am tired of having that kind of tolerance imposed to go by...
I am tired of losing my personality, the viril part of it, and the part that is
so dedicated to women, lost for that sake...
I am tired of looking around and seeing nothing but lavish gray men,
or dum (pardon me !) sport heroes as a symbol of masculinity (God
bless there still is a few beautifull hippies in which lifeand gender
shines as they are).
I am tired of seeing such a mess made of couples, and homosexuality
is just an added burden.
All those soft people not wanting to be what they where given to be, by
refusing to give full span to the force of caracter they are
entitled with are also destroying the Planet.
The vision of love, starting by the body, is too often twisted...
I am tired of being turned down by men or women, just for wanting to
be myself...
I am tired, yes as a man, of the durty looks...
Tired also of winded comments. Believe me we get our share too...
Tired of seeing people of all sides look at each other as sexual
objects.
I am tired of the sexual sharks of all kinds on the side of path...
(No insult to the sharks meant...)
Get out of Babylone !
Kriss
Kriss
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